Life is not dress rehearsal, as most of us
seem to think. It is real. I grant you that it is full of dramas and that might
be the reason why most of us seem to take it as such. We all act our
parts to the best of our abilities, but in life, unlike a play, we do not have
rehearsals and do over’s. In the rare occasion, we are given do overs, but that
is the exception than the rule. That is why we need to live our lives with
intent and awareness. It is not a dress rehearsal, what we do not get right today;
we will not be able to correct it on the next rehearsal. This is it.
Sometimes, either because we get so
comfortable with the part we play or because we like the familiarity of the
character we play, or because we are expected to continue to play the same
roles by others, we get stuck on it. We continue to play the same role even
when we are not in the same drama any more. But, life is all about change,
if we don't then we would not be able to grow or survive.
Sometimes, contrary to the truth,
we believe that other people go through life playing the lead role,
that they have all the answers, which their place is in the world, is better,
that things always worked out better for them. The truth is, no one has all the
answers. No other place is better than ours. Nobody’s life is turned out better
than ours – at least not, in what matters most. We are playing the roles we are
playing because that is what we want; no one has forced us to take the part.
There is no reason to envy or blame others, the choice is ours. If we are
willing to search our hearts, then we will realize that what we are searching
for is already ours. It is in us. But, first we have to be willing to look
inside of us, second we have to be willing to take responsibility for
ourselves.
That is when we would be able to see that
the pain of continuing to play the same roles we have been playing exceeds the
pain of stopping. And, when we reach that point, we know that we have crossed
the threshold. That is when the unthinkable becomes thinkable. Slowly the
realization emerges that the choice to continue playing the same role is the
choice to live in discomfort, pain and fear, and the choice to stop is the
choice to breathe deeply and freely again. Once we realized that, we can either
honor it or ignore it.
This realization put us in a position of
self-responsibility. We can no longer blame our discomfort on others. The power
to continue or to stop is fully in our hands. Our pain becomes a matter of our
own choices. To stop the pain requires changing ourselves - changing our need
to please or dominate others, to be right or wrong, to be strong or weak. At
risk is an image we have created and sustained but that no longer serves us. No
image of ourselves can survive the realization of what is causing us pain and
fear. When and how to stop it is a voluntary act and only we can decide.
We cannot stop making choices, but the question is, would we honor our
true self or would we honor our false image that we have created and nurtured.
Making the choice is not as easy as we think; nevertheless, it has to be
done. The clue as how to make the decision, I think lies in self-knowledge.
This is the first counsel that is written
over the gateway to the entrance of Delphi “Know thyself” If we know ourselves,
then no one can fool us nor lead us astray.
Break a leg!!!
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