Invitation of Love.

Subject: Personal Ad

JOB DESCRIPTION: Long-term team player sought for the position of friend/companion. Use your superior communication and social skills to build a serious long-term relationship. Must be willing to work evenings and weekends. Some overnight travel may eventually be required including trips to visit relatives, occasional evaluations of bed and breakfast and other inns, environmental studies in national parks, and observation of foreign cultures. Trips to Art and History museums are required.

RESPONSIBILITIES: This position calls for attendance at many long dinner meetings in fine restaurants. A hug and a kiss will be required after the successful completion of such meetings where all objectives are clearly met. In addition, you must be prepared to hold hands everywhere. Long hours spent cuddling will be encouraged once you show competence in other areas of responsibility (especially the long dinners). You may be asked to discuss and share your passion and interests. An occasional meeting with groups of friends may also be required.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE: None required. You will find that no previous experience will prepare you for this position. Enthusiasm for on-the-job training is necessary. In addition, success in this position will require being serious only when necessary. It may help if you are a Democrat. The presence of children or plans for them is not required but will be considered a plus.

COMPENSATION: This is a volunteer position and includes no direct payment... There might be occasional gifts associated with certain recurring dates or events, but the exact time of distribution of such gifts will not be revealed in advance. This will start out as a temporary position, but it should be approached with the potential to move into a permanent position as a desirable alternative.

BENEFITS: A tremendous benefits package is included. However, the exact nature of the benefit would not be disclosed at this moment.

MISCELLANEOUS: This woman loves children of all ages. Kids adore her compassion and sense of humor.    If you like to see things from a different perspective, this is your woman. She enjoys reading, writing, walking, cuddling and quiet times.   She has inherited the love of history from her parents and will tour anything old. She likes spending many hours in Art Museums. She does not always follow the rules exactly

Sincerely, 

Subject: Job application status request

Dear Ms. :

As you know, I applied for your organization’s position as “sweetheart trainee” last week. I enjoyed very much our two interviews and thought I fit the job qualifications very well. You are a great interviewer! I thought the practice session Friday night went particularly well and could see myself enjoying the job very much. From your response, it appeared that your needs and my skills were a perfect fit.

Since it has been a little while since we have conferred, I am wondering if the position is still available or, if it has been filled. Or perhaps you are still searching for a better-qualified candidate. I am happy to have a third interview to determine if we are a good fit, before starting a probationary period.

I know you have been very busy with your frequent travel. However, if you would be so kind as to tell me if the position is still available and if so, if I am being considered for it, or if I should move on to the next opportunity. I would love to fill the job and would be very sad if I am out of the running, but understand if you think it may not be a good fit.

Yours