It is never too late to find.

"This is for all the lonely people thinking that life has passed them by. Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup..." These lyrics, from a hit song of the 1970s, are still meaningful today.

Falling in love at age 50 is reminiscent of love at sixteen—just as exciting, and just as risky. It's wonderful to realize that we are never too old to fall in love, but it is also good to remember that we are never too old to fall apart in love. We figured we'd made nearly every possible mistake in terms of family and relationships. But that is far from it. The learning curve for love is pretty consistent even with the right person at the right time. Nothing is ever as easy as expected, the best-laid plans of mice, men and women notwithstanding.  

Having an intimate relationship with another human being is the ultimate test of character—prompting us to come face to face with our best and worse self and forcing us to apply all the good things we have learned to help influence a positive outcome, sometimes against seemingly insurmountable obstacles and stress.

When “being in love” is involved, the situation becomes much more intense and confusing. This is because of a conflict between the raw emotions—the positive, enjoyable joy and euphoria of bliss vs. the negative, uncomfortable fear of hurt, disappointment, rejection, vulnerability and failure. And of course there is always a great difficulty in communicating about these things. Naturally, the intensity of the love, the personal and spiritual development of the people involved, and the stresses that are present, all have a lot to do with the success or failure of the relationship.

That being said, having a relationship in later years is even more of a test of a character—this time with one that is already shaped, to help force it to un-shape a little for the next level of improvements. This is a milestone test of our spiritual development in our journey through life as a human being. Half a lifetime can generate a whole lot of personal idiosyncrasies. At the mid-century point, there's no such thing as finding a partner with no personal baggage.  However, the one good aspect of midlife romance is acceptance

As with earlier life relationships, a mid-life love is a meeting between two individuals, each with distinct personalities and histories. That's not automatically a bad thing. Not many people want someone who's their clone, at least not in the long run. A couple who's too much alike will eventually get on each other's nerves or bore each other to death. 

Half a century's worth of habits don't evaporate in the warmth of a loving relationship, however, despite the fact that there are still plenty of bumps in life's road, love in midlife is a vast improvement over the younger and more impetuous version. Our expectations change, morphing into something that more closely aligns with reality. The give-and-take of a relationship starts sounding pretty good.

When everything is said and done, love doesn't change much. It's got its ups and downs, its joys and annoyances. Midlife love, though, may just be the best of the best. Sex has shifted from a mystery to a comfortable, desired and much-welcome friend. There probably aren't a lot of sexual hang-ups or unrealistic expectations on either side. If there's a matter of question or dissatisfaction, it'll be addressed without hesitation or apology.

So what “rules” should two people in their later years adopt and agree to, that will help assure success in their relationship?

·        We need to know what we want, we have to be sure that is legitimate and go into the relationship with our whole being – body, mind, heart and soul. *Be true to yourself - that's where you meet people from.

·        Don't assume anything. Sweep away expectations. Be fully present in each and every moment, with each and every person. 

·        Laugh a lot. If possible, choose in-laws who laugh a lot, too.

·        We need to open our heart all the way and accept our partner unconditionally.

·        We need to be patient, we need to be able to give and receive love without any expectation.

·        We need to nurture the relationship with open communication and love.   

·        Have at least three people in your life who know who the real you is. These are the people who will help you see the goodness in yourself, as well as call you on your own bullsh*t

You see, it's never too late to find love. All you have to do is put yourself out there. Sooner or later, you'll bump into the right someone. Good luck and fight the good fight.