What were the lessons I have learned from my sickness.

During the Course of my sickness, I received support from many family & friends. Out of the hours of prayer, conversation, and sharing I have distilled some specific ideas that helped me and still helps me through my experience of darkness.
Seeing God in the experience is important to me, because I can endure anything as long as I sense the presence of God in the experience. For me, God is in control. I choose to believe that God is using this experience to bring me to a new place. Going through Chemo and Radiation help me to understand the resurrection of Christ, much in me had to die so that I might come to new place.
I still don't have any idea what the purpose might be, yet, I believe there is one because of God. I don't ever remember asking God why this is happening to me but for Him to reveal what He wants me to get out of it. Sometimes, little by little, I understand the reason for what is happening with me. My experience has left me with greater sense of the mystery of God, and at the same time, with deeper trust in his guidance for my life
You would be surprised how much energy I was wasting in projecting ahead into situations. I have to learn to be concerned only about the present, and to understand that I had less control over the future than I had imagined. As I continue to heal, I became aware that the physical symptoms of anxiety rise within me most regularly when I was fretting over events yet to come.
I had forgotten how to be kind to myself. I was so into my job. It is a cliché to say 'I was living to work, instead of working to live.' Not only I was losing relationship with others but with myself too. It become clear how caught up I was in this duty-bound behaviour   I was forced to take time for myself. Long time ago, a wise man at work told me that 'when we don't stop to take care of ourselves, mother nature would force us to do it by making us sick. I came to see the truth of that.  Even though, I felt guilty,  I started to understand more clearly that I cannot love and serve well,  unless I am able to love myself.
I gave easily and had trouble receiving. As I review my experience I am deeply impressed by the expression of concern that came to me. Those who knew I was in a difficult time were most supportive. I learned during this experience that it is okay to be a receiver of kindness & love. Also, I am working on the truth that it is okay to be weak in some ways. I find to my joy that I am able to give more as I  learn to receive, and I am more open to the grace of God by which I am able to give at all.