Life is unfair but God is good!

A friend recently ask me if life is fair and of course the obvious answer is no. But before I gave him my answer I had to ask him a question which is 'Who said life should be fair"? We all seems to assume that there is some unwritten law somewhere which says life is fair, well, it is not.  However, unfair does not have to mean  unhappiness. Regardless of what happen on the outside, we still can manage to be happy - maybe not happy but content. The question should be 'how can we find contentment within us?"
Recently, I have been told that a very good friend of mine is very sick and has been admitted to the hospital. I was not told what was wrong and I did not know what to expect. I knew it has to be serious for me to be notified, but to what extent, I was not sure. When I got to the hospital, I saw my friend lying there with all these tubes attach to him. I don't think, the sight of him on that bed, will ever leave my mind. 
He was happy to see me but I can see the weariness in his eyes. He began to tell me what happened while he was holding my hands, and while my tears were running down my cheeks.  One day while walking on the street, he passed out and was taken to ER. When he woke up, he was told it was nothing major, just dehydration. They gave him some intervenes liquid and sent him home. The second time he passed out, he was taken to the same hospital, and this time they were more concerned. Even though, they could not find out right away what was wrong, they knew it is more than dehydration. They kept him for few days, run some tests and they were about to send him home when he passed out while trying to stand up. 
So, they kept him and run more tests and found out that he has cancer and it has metastasis. It was in his pancreases, in his liver and in his lung. All of a sudden, his diagnoses went from 'nothing major to …. Sorry there is nothing we could do for you, except keep you comfortable…get your business in order....' As if you have been waiting all your life for them to give you the ok 'to get your business in order..'
How do you deal with knowing you are going to die soon? After all, most of live from the premise that we would live forever, if not forever, at least at old age. We ask "how can it be? He is too young? He is/was healthy; he has so much to live for, etc." We ask these questions because we still cannot get the fact that death has no rules, it does not follow any patterns and it certainly does not care how we feel about it.
I know it is selfish of me but the first thing I though about was not how he was feeling about his imminent death, but how I have to live without him. The feelings which went through me were to many to describe, but here are some of them - I felt cheated, betrayed, abandoned, etc. My brain was going 100 miles per hour about what I 'could have, should have, would have' done for him. Are not friends suppose to look after one another? Were we not suppose to have his back? I knew, his family has a history of cancer. Have I ever ask him to go get a check up? Yes, I did but did not follow up to see if he did or not. What kind of a friend does that make me? I know, it was not suppose to be about me, but I made it about me. Selfish? Yes, through and through.
Even though I tried very hard to be strong and understanding in front of him, I could not do It., I know, the pink elephant is in the room and we all are pretending not to see it. But today, I looked at my friend's frail face, with all the tubes attach to his small body, I became undone. He opened up his arms and went straight to them with no shame. We cried and cried and cried. All of a sudden, the tap was open and everything I have been feeling and felt came out pouring. I told him that I am not ready or willing to let him go, he said he is not ready to go either. He said he does not want to die.
At that time, it became clear that what my friend needed from me was my tears not my pretence and courage. He wanted me to acknowledge the truth of his death so he can do the same. He wanted to mourn for the life he is leaving behind, for his dreams that he did not get to fulfil. He told me he was happy because we shared our tears. 
Even though he is still with us,  I feel as if the floor beneath me was taken away and I am falling to the bottomless pit. You know that falling feeling you get just before you fall asleep, you try to jerk your body back up? Well that is what I am feeling.
As if that is not sad enough, another friend lost his brother for cancer yesterday. There are no easy answers to what he has to endure now,  no ways to dull his sorrow and no quick and simple cure for losing someone he cherished, the pain would continue to be unbearable, however, he made a wise decision and went to be with his brother the moment he found out that he is terminally sick. This kind of wisdom can come only from God. He has been lucky and blessed in that because now the memories of what transpires between them is what keeps him going.  I cannot say, I know what he is going through because I don't.  Yet, I feel for him. I hate the fact he has to go through this painful process. I wish there was something I can do to lift this sorrow, this pain, this sadness from him.  I wish, I can be there for him physically, sometimes that is more than anything we can do for our loved ones. Unfortunately, I cannot for many reasons – one being not wanting to leave the side of my dying friend. There is also another reason why I could not be there but that is a subject for another blog. 
So, going back to the question "Is life fair?"  My answer will be NO, it is not. But I believe in the goodness of God. Life with its all ups and downs, pains, miseries, losses, etc. it is still worth living. Life has never been perfect nor would it be in the future but it is worthy. I believe there is purpose behind our existence because God is who He is. We are not an accident, as the Psalmist said, we are made fearfully and wonderfully. I choose to live by faith, not by sight. 
Lord, thank you for loving us and for being in control of our lives. Please comfort my friend and his family in the time of their need. Both families need you now more than ever. We all need You Lord, please be with us, bless us, guide us, and give us strength to match our day. In Jesus name I pray