The foundation of true intimacy is trust.

It probably comes as no surprise that one of the most important characteristics of true intimacy in any great relationship is trust. We need to trust that our partner will keep our deepest darkest secrets, will always be there for us when we need someone to listen to our problems, will help us pick up the pieces when our world comes crashing down, and will not intentionally screw us over or hurt our feelings. 

As partners develop increased trust in one another, they are likely to become increasingly dependent on one another--that is, they are likely to become increasingly satisfied, increasingly willing to forgo alternatives, and increasingly willing to invest in the relationship. When individuals trust their partners, they feel safe, secure, and content.

So, what affects trust in relationships? Susan Boon (1994) identified four key issues that impact the development of trust, which include dependability, responsiveness, faith, and conflict resolution.

• Dependable partners are always there for each other when one or both of them are in need. Whether partners are happy or sad, healthy or sick, or rich or poor (sound familiar), dependable partners will be there for each other through thick and thin.
• Individuals should also be responsive and sensitive to their partners' needs. Responsive partners are willing to help their partners achieve their goals; even if that sometimes means that their own goals have to be put on hold.
• Faithfulness is important. Faithful partners are in it for the long haul. Not only are faithful partners not going to leave or cheat on each other, but they are also not consumed by the fear that their mates will leave them or that their mates are cheating on them.
• Couples need to be able to resolve conflicts effectively, which involves being collaborative and constructive. If partners tend to withdraw from potential conflicts, constantly give in to preserve the peace, of force their goals on each other, trust weakens" .  

If you want to work on building or maintaining trust with your mate, you need to be there for your partner whenever he or she needs you, have faith in your relationship and in your mate, be responsive to your partner's needs, and be willing to work towards actually resolving conflict. And, always remember that trust is the key to a healthy relationship.

Since we agree that trust is a basses of a relationship, then if you don't trust each other the relationship is not going to run deep. Building trust takes time, especially when one or both parties have been hurt in the past – we all come with heavy luggage.

 Here is how to build trust in relationships.

·        Be trustworthy in the little things. If a person cannot trust you to show up on time or remember to do something that you promised to do, why should he trust you with something more important?

·        Keep the other person’s confidence. What a person tells you in a relationship needs to stay in that relationship.

·        Share personal information about yourself. Relationships need to be 2-way streets. If you want to build trust in relationships, then you need to become vulnerable yourself.

·        Do things that are in the best interest of the other person. If you want to build trust in relationships, you need to make choices that are beneficial to the other person and the relationship. While the other person’s needs should not always come before your own, they should be recognized and met as frequently as possible, while balancing them out with your own needs.

·        Spend time with the other person. There is no replacement for spending face-to-face time on a regular basis.

·        Apologize when you make a mistake.

·        Trust is a 2-way street. Each person in a relationship needs to be investing in a relationship in order to build trust. No matter how much you love another person, you might not be able to build trust in a relationship if that other person is not willing to invest his/her time energy as much as you do.

 Good luck to you all.