"What if my whole life has been wrong?" Ivan Ilych

I have read "The Death of Ivan Ilych' by Leo Tolstoy a few times in the past but when I reread it recently, I realized how deceiving the title is. The lesson in the book is about life, not death. The story of Ivan's steady approach toward death is the story of Ivan's recognition of death and his search for a compromise with its dreadful and nullifying power. How is one to make sense of the end of one's life, of one's relationships, projects, and dreams, of one's very existence? Throughout the novel, Tolstoy makes clear that preparation for death begins with a proper attitude toward life. As Ivan's attitude toward life changes, prompted by pain and the prospect of death, his emotions progress from sheer terror to utter joy. 

The avoidance of death that characterizes Ivan's social setting is based on a delusion designed to protect people from unpleasant realities. It leads only to emptiness, horror, and dissatisfaction. An acceptance of death, however and recognition of the true unpredictable nature of life allows for confidence, peace, and even joy at the moment of death. More than anything else, then, the novel can be seen as a lesson on making sense of death through living rightly.

There are two kinds of lives, the artificial life and the authentic life. Which one we choose is up to us!The artificial life is marked by shallow relationships, self-interest, and materialism. It is insular, unfulfilling, and ultimately incapable of providing answers to the important questions in life. The artificial life is a deception that hides life's true meaning and leaves one terrified and alone at the moment of death. Artificial life leaves one alone and empty. The relationship in an artificial life is parasitism.

It is purely physical. Lives for the benefit of our own flesh and relates with others only insofar as they promote us and our desires. Confusing the physical existence with the spiritual existence will make our lives even more complicated. When we live this kind of life, we experience excruciating pain, overwhelming unhappiness, and absolute terror.

The authentic life, on the other hand, is marked by sympathy and compassion. It sees others not as means to ends, but as individual beings with unique thoughts, feelings, and desires. The authentic life cultivates mutually affirming human relationships that break down isolation and allow for true interpersonal contact. The authentic life fosters strength through solidarity and comfort through empathy. It creates bonds. It is not afraid of personal involvement; it has self-sacrificing love for other that infuses their life with meaning. It empathizes with others predicament and relieves other people's isolation. It lessens other's pain by sharing it. The virtue of authentic life is that both parties in the relationship benefit from it compassion and love go both ways – they have symbiosis relationship.

It is both physical and spiritual. It is whole.  When we stop confusing the physical with the spiritual, we can confront our isolation; we can grow toward understanding and would transcendence our suffering, experience inner joy. When we live this kind of life, we get to reborn. In this like, we recognize the duality of the self and we live so as the less important physical life conforms to the more important spiritual life.

Characteristic of the artificial life as well as of the purely physical life is the tendency toward alienation. Whenever we encounter a situation or relationship that does not promote our pleasant existence, we distance ourselves from it. This reaction ties in to the larger theme of the inner life v. outer life. Because when we have no spiritual existence, we are incapable of seeing other people as individuals. We act only to obtain the good for ourselves and have no value for those that impinge upon our pleasure. Thus, in our selfish quest for happiness, we shut out individuals. Yet by fencing others out, we fences ourselves in.

Most of us are self-interested, materialistic, shallow individuals. We care little for authentic human relationships. We desire status and pleasure and attempt to obtain our goals at the expense of our so-called friends and families. This depiction plays a major role in the theme of the right life. Materialism and social climbing are major obstacles to living rightly.

The accepted norms of social life are consisting of pleasant/proper/decorous. These norms become very important when we live the artificial life. Our inordinate concern with propriety, decorum, and standards of conduct is an excellent indication that we are living the artificial, rather than the authentic life. We are more concerned with external appearance than with internal substance, with the appearance of truth rather than with actual truth. The person who chooses not to concern himself/herself with the opinions of high society, who disregards the pleasant/proper/decorous for the real, the true, and the genuine is the person who lives the right way.

So, instead of trying to fit in, we need to learn to live an authentic life.