Are we cultivating a sense of entitlement in our children ?

I was brought up by loving #parents and I loved and #respected them. I did not need my parent to verbalize their love for me because they showed me everyday with their every action - by taking care of my every need, by taking comforting me when I was sad, by holding and kissing me when I felt lonely or upset, by preventing me from hanging with the wrong crowed, by reprimanded me when I have done something wrong or when I go against their wish. I don't remember if they ever verbalized their love for me, they might have but I don't think so. However, I never doubt their love and their intention.

Don't get me wrong, I remember well feeling that my #parents were over-protective and stifled my creativity. They probably kept me out of a lot of trouble that way, but I wanted to get into all of the trouble so I could learn from it. Even then, I knew they were doing what they were doing out of love. Maybe this is part of the reason why it bothered me when I hear the younger generation blame their parents for everything what is wrong in their lives - from their weight to their #martial problems.

I appalled to discovered the extent of resentment and outright prejudiced towards our generation from the younger ones. I found what our generation abhorred and taught our children to abhor:  prejudice.  I thought that we raised our children who do not see the colour of skin, gender, religious beliefs or much else as a difference to scorn, but I am stunned that this generation is prejudiced – against US! 

Most parent I know are incredibly loving of their off-springs and they wish the best for them. I don't think any parent would get up and say 'mmm.....what can I do or say today to damage my child for life?' Or,  it is not like there is a manual(application, download, etc.) on how to raise our children right, every parent has to raise their kid by trail and error. It was not any different than it is today.  

Granted, every #generation is somewhat ungrateful to their parents, they feel that they can do better than  the previous generation, whether they did or not is another matter. However, I wonder if we have messed up something important in the process of changing child raising better than our parents?

I came from a generation which expect me to work to get what I want. My parents didn't overindulge me or my siblings, and we have grown up to appreciate what we have and to work hard for what we want. Yet, we raise our kids differently.

We put too much emphasis on #material things.  We have been overindulgent, they were denied nothing when it came to lessons, camps, vacations and then all-expense-paid educations and more, which has resulted in a generation of people with unrealistic expectations. They've been given SO much that they think their parents and society owes them something, and they don’t want to work for what they want. 

I think a lot of times ‘things’ were given in place of time spent with them because we baby were the generation where Mum was also out at work, so Mum found it even harder to get done what had to be done family wise. So, In a way it is our  fault since we are the one who cultivated this sense of #entitlement in our children by giving them whatever they want. The best thing we can do for our children should have been to give them what they actually need (our love and our time), and not shower them with material things. We should have thought them the value of money, time and commitment, instead of doing it all ourselves.  They would have appreciated it more because they worked for it. 

What I have also noticed is that these children are not allowed to fail.  They play games where they don’t keep score.  Everyone gets a participation ribbon.  This is part of the problem.  When we were kids – not everyone made the team, awards were given to the winners - not to every participant and we were allowed to fail.  Now, I see the parents swoop in and take care of things. Now all the kids play or the coach gets into trouble.  I have witnessed this when I went to watch my friend's son soccer team, when something goes wrong it was the parent who were the problem not the kids. One teacher told me that when they give craft assignment for kid as a homework, some parents are so competitive, they would end up doing it. Of course, we know which was done by kids and which was done by parents. They probably started out with good intentions, but that isn't how it ended. 

Maybe we can be better examples by just being there for them and for others than doing it for them. I think by not being there for them, by not giving them our time and energy, we might have raised a group of selfish people - they don't volunteer or give their time to others. If there isn't a benefit directly to the giver, it is very rare that there is a younger person participating.  There are a few, I'm sure, that are out there.It’s rare!  

I think, the other problem this generation has is a responsibility that they don't want to have. As we age, we are consuming more resources and putting more responsibility on the next generation to take care of us.  As we age and become infirm or develop dementia, etc, we put a strain on Medicare, Social Security, etc., which the next generation does not want to be responsible for. I can’t really blame them, but I have to say that I am still taking care of my Mum, and I feel privileged to be able to do it.  There is still so much we can learn from those who walked this world before us.  That generation really defined “taking responsibility”, even though we resented them for it as well.  I am happy that I continue to learn responsibility, love and compassion from her, and I hope it is not to late for the next generation to learn from their grandparents as well as their parents that love, compassion and responsibility for each other is what makes the world a lovable and joyful place.

So, whose fault is it? I think it is a combination of both. When it all boils down everyone has to have someone to blame for their and the world’s woes so why not blame us as we blamed our parents and I am sure my grandchildren will blame the now the this generation.