Sometimes, in spite of my desire to change, I continually make the same disempowering choices that prevents me from realizing my goals and desires. I came to understand at some level I am afraid to change. I would rather stay where I am, even if I complain about it, than, go for something new. So, I keep falling into the proverbial hole that I know so well as a way to ensure that I will stay where it is familiar. However, God in His great mercy and love is not letting me standstill for too long because He does not want my life to be stagnant. He wants me to move, He wants me to be like spring water, ever fresh, ever changing, etc. He knows I have so much to go through in order to become myself. Sometimes I feel as if I have at last reached my destination. But, I also realize that there is always more to go through, more to discover, more pleasure, more pain, and more lessons. God continues to surprise me. I would go out looking for something and I would always end up discovering something better - serendipity. When I least expecting it, He gives me a signs which tells me that I will make it.
Today, I have decided enough is enough. I guess, this is what they call a turning point. There comes a time when the pain of continuing, exceeds the pain of stopping. And at this moment, I know I have crossed the threshold. What seemed unthinkable now becomes thinkable. Slowly the realization emerges that the choice to continue what I have been doing is the choice to live in discomfort, pain and fear, and the choice to stop what I have been doing is the choice to breathe deeply and free again. Once that realization has emerged, I can either honour it or ignore it.
I guess, this realization puts me in a position of self-responsibility. I can no longer blame my discomfort on anyone. The power to continue or to stop is fully in my court and in my hands. My pain becomes a matter of my own choice. To stop the pain requires changing me - changing my need to please or dominate, to be right or wrong, to be strong or weak. At risk is an image I have created and sustained but that no longer serves me. No image of myself can survive the realization of that is causing me pain and fear. When I will stop what I am doing is for me to decide, no one can force me. It has to be a voluntary act. I cannot stop making choices, the question is would I honour my inner self or would I honour my false image that I have created and nurtured.
What are you choosing today by the actions you took or are taking?
Today, I have decided enough is enough. I guess, this is what they call a turning point. There comes a time when the pain of continuing, exceeds the pain of stopping. And at this moment, I know I have crossed the threshold. What seemed unthinkable now becomes thinkable. Slowly the realization emerges that the choice to continue what I have been doing is the choice to live in discomfort, pain and fear, and the choice to stop what I have been doing is the choice to breathe deeply and free again. Once that realization has emerged, I can either honour it or ignore it.
I guess, this realization puts me in a position of self-responsibility. I can no longer blame my discomfort on anyone. The power to continue or to stop is fully in my court and in my hands. My pain becomes a matter of my own choice. To stop the pain requires changing me - changing my need to please or dominate, to be right or wrong, to be strong or weak. At risk is an image I have created and sustained but that no longer serves me. No image of myself can survive the realization of that is causing me pain and fear. When I will stop what I am doing is for me to decide, no one can force me. It has to be a voluntary act. I cannot stop making choices, the question is would I honour my inner self or would I honour my false image that I have created and nurtured.
What are you choosing today by the actions you took or are taking?
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