Are we fruitful?

Are we #fruitful?  Who are we, really? Do we robotic-ally follow the standards that society has determined for us, or are we living authentically a life of our own choosing?

When I was growing up, I often asked myself that question. For the longest time my answer was that I was living my own #authentic life. Maybe it’s easier when we’re younger not to base our worth on what others might define “#success” to be. But the older I became, the more that belief diminished and the more I could see that I was adapting to the standards of society: work, gain, acquire; school, relationship, marriage, kids. Everyone else seemed to have a nice apartment or house, stylish clothes, expensive vacations—the whole outward show of standard success. I worked hard and I wanted those rewards, too. But often those things only make me think I am happy and only make me feel better about myself for a little while.

The next time you ask yourself, “Am I fruitful?” make sure your #measure of success is of your #own making and not one of society’s expectations. The latter is hollow and may leave you with regrets. The former will bring you home to yourself every time. A bit later in life, when your homes and careers are what you have made them, you may look back and wonder: Why do you remember spending much more time on work and other responsibilities than on the smaller moments of laughter? Why do the moments of #happiness seem so brief amid the grown-up duties? Were we so busy and driven that the important personal moments stayed hidden in my memory among the more prominent thoughts of work and chores and everything I always felt I had to accomplish?

Now I see things differently. #Success comes from myself, from the way I feel about myself. I feel fruitful when a friend confides in me and I'm able to give her some support or advice that makes her feel better. When I've accomplished the work I wanted to do that day. Or when I reach a goal I've set for myself, like when I finish a story I said I would finish or learning a new dance. “I did it!” I can say with pride, even when no one else hears. I can feel as good about myself as I did when I was younger and I lived the authentic life without even trying.

The next time we ask ourselves, “Am I fruitful?” make sure your yardstick of success is of your own making and not one of society’s expectations. The latter is hollow and may leave we with regrets. The former will bring you home to yourself every time.