Solitude: Our Natural State.

Somewhere along the way, most of us lost sight of the value of solitude. Yet getting to know our inner self through solitude is key to enriching our lives and our relationships. We are so eager toward attachment and engagement and 'busyness,' that 'me time' has been lost to us. Society's view of solitude is negative and because of that we feel guilty or inadequate if we are not social butterflies. Because of our negative preconception about solitude, even our dictionary definition of solitude includes terms like isolation and lonely, but that is not true. Solitude does not mean loneliness, extroversion is not better than introversion. And if we don't take time to know ourselves in any introverted way, we may end up feeling lonely, inadequate, or frustrated, which can lead to depression.

There is a major difference between 'loneliness' and 'solitude.' Being alone is not being lonely. We could be lonely in wrong relationships than being by ourselves. Sometimes many of us feel like walking alone while we are surrounded by a big crowd. The quantity of social interaction doesn't matter, but rather the quality of it.

Solitude is such a natural thing for us, because we all had experienced perfect solitude in the womb, it is just unfortunate that we were too young to appreciate it. Once we're born into this round-the-clock, information-at-our-fingertips world and burdened with endless social obligations, the chance of finding or appreciating the gift of solitude is greatly diminished.

This increased reliance on relationships with others, of course shifts our focus further from our inner selves and our needs as individuals, and more towards who we feel we should be in relation to others. It's difficult to maintain a sense of personal integrity if we are always outwardly focused.