May your strength equal your day.

Often when we talk about problems and challenges in our lives, we use phrases like ‘I am in the dark place,’ ‘life seems an upward clime,’ as well as ‘everything went down the drain’ etc. I want to add one ‘I am just pushing forward, but it does not look like I am going anywhere.’ Regardless of which way (up, down, straight) we are going life is difficult and full of disappointment.

When we go through the long, straight, even path we get bored and get restless because it is monotonous (if you have traveled through Ohio’s flat land, you do understand what I am saying.). There is no excitement. If we are climbing the straight narrow path up the hill, it can be difficult and dangerous. Descending to the deep valises of life will be as dangerous as climbing up, it takes a lot out of us. They all make our hearts grow faint. (We know this from people who have been climbing the tallest mountains. They tell us climbing up or down can be dangerous, if we are not careful.)

And lately, I can say, I have been experiencing each of those paths.  My spirit has been tested to its outer limits. I have undergone some major trails to the point where I questioned my faith. I have prayed, cried, begged and even tried to make a deal with the Lord. I have told him to take my burdens. I have told him that it was raining hard on me and these tests are beyond my power to endure them. My trembling heart is grieving.  

Disappointments are pouring in, washing away and utterly defeating my chosen plan. My strength is collapsing under the weight of suffering. Surely He sees the rains of affliction beating down on me.

One of the scripture verse I like is ‘Your strength will equal your days’ (Deut.. 33:25) and it has helped me to go through some tough times but this time I could not find comfort in them. I feel like that I have done some great injustice and I am being punished for it. I know God has a plan for my life and I know eventually it will reveal but what am I suppose to do until then? Do I listen to David and follow ‘be still and know that I am God’ or is this a place where I am asked to act?

Being in the dark make us fearful and it also not a good place to make any kind of move because we cannot even see what is in front of us, let alone further in the future. Even though, I don’t see the end of this dark tunnel I am in, I know God does. I know when he looked into my life, He is not seeing affliction raining down on me, He sees a rain of tenderness, love, compassion, grace , patience and thousands of other blessing of the Holy Spirit. He knows that this rain is bringing to my spiritual life enrichment and growth.  

And those days, when I am willing to open my spiritual window, I see the same things too. I do believe ‘everything works out for good for those who believe in Him.’ I know that my Redeemer is waiting for me to give Him the reign. He is waiting for me to let him have sit on the pilot seat of my life, rather than letting Him be a co-pilot. After all, who knows me better than my creator. So, now I am willing to do what He ask me, which is ‘Stay there until I tell you.’ Gen 41:52.

May the Lord bless you all.