Thank You For Letting Me Love You.

My second year of college I met a man at a church BBQ. While everyone was socializing and eating, this man was sitting at the corner alone and I went to talk to him. After introducing myself, I asked him why he was sitting all by himself and why he was sad. He was a little surprised by my perception; I guess the young are not often known for their perception.

He said that he and his wife grew up in the area and then moved to Iowa. But every year, they would drive down to Ohio to attend the church BBQ because that is where they met the first time. His #wife passed away five years ago and this is the first time that he came to the BBQ.

He told me that he was 57 years old, he has three grown children and one of his daughters still lives in the area with her husband and children. He introduced me to her and her family. When the function was over, we exchanged phone numbers and address and we promised to keep in touch.

He kept his word and started sending me letters. I loved receiving his letters because they were full of stories. He wrote to me about his days at the farm, about his animals, his neighbors, the weather, etc. Reading his letters was like reading a story book. Even though he claimed that he has never written letters to people and that he was not good at it, I knew different.

I was introduced to his town and the people who lived in it. He wrote to me about how their pastor enjoyed the children more than the adults. He wrote to me how the general store owner’s wife was a nag like Mrs. Olsen. He told me about his dog ‘Milly.’ – Who has only obeyed his wife and once she passed away, she became the boss. How Dr. Styne, the #town doctor, is a stern but kind man who cares and takes care of everybody.

At the beginning, I tried to keep up with my #correspondence but #lack of self-confidence stoped me. He understood my problem without me having to explain it to him. He told me that he #enjoys sharing his stories with me, unless I get sick and tired of it, he would like to keep doing it and I was happy to let him.

His letters arrive on the 8^th of each month and sometimes if there is a holiday or if it is my birthday or if I have done well in class, I will get a card, money, gift, etc. from him. If it is summer vacation or any  other school holiday, I would let him know and he would send the letters to wherever I was.

One day, after two and half years of this,  I noticed that I did not get a letter from him and tried to call him to find out if he was ok, but there was no answer. I told myself maybe he went on vacation and forgot to tell me, or maybe something happened but I was sure he would call and all will be all. But it did not. By the 12^th of the month, I got a letter from him and I thank God and opened the letter with excitement. However, even as I was opening it, there was something different about it, I cannot say what but I felt it in my heart.

The letter started with

‘My dear girl,

If you are reading this letter, it means I have gone to meet my maker. I wrote this  letter it to my daughter so she can send it to you once I passed away. I know how much you love me and care about me and I did not want to wonder what  happened to me, or wonder if you have said or done to upset me - as if you are capable of that.
 

I cannot tell you what your #friendship meant to me. You gave my life purpose; you comfort me with your quite smile and words. I wish my Clair has met you. The two of you would have hit it off. If she had been alive, I would have asked you to come and see the farm instead of telling you about it. But since I live alone, I did not want to make you uncomfortable by asking you to come and stay with me. Some days, I wish I had but it is late now.

My dear, I want to thank you for #letting me #love you. I know you felt guilty because I was the one who did most of the writing but that was the most #precious #gift you have given me. #Love which is not accepted is like a curse but you accepted it with an #open-heart. You made me feel special and worthy of your time. You never complained about my calls or letters. I never understood why people in sales say smile while talking on the phone because the person on the other side can hear it. I am just a simple farmer but you made me see that because every time we talked, I felt your smile.

Again, I would say thank you for letting me love you. It is with great sorrow and pain I am saying goodbye to you, my dear. I hope you would find comfort, like me, in the knowledge that we will meet in our Father’s house. Not too soon, I hope. I want you always to remember how much I loved you. “

This man who thought me so much about #unconditional-love was not done with me. Even after he passed away, he blessed me with another lesson, when love is offered, accepting it is a gift for the giver. I never thought of it that way before that, but since then I tried to thank the people who accepted my gift of love as much as I can. That is their way of #reciprocating my love for them.

I hope, if you have never thanked the people who have accepted your love, you would take this opportunity to thank them.   They are precious and few, please do it today. 

God willing, one day, I will see him and let him know how special he made me feel.